The Body Lies
by Musicat
Summary: This is a sequel to The Body Speaks. It's not what you all wanted, and it's horrible cliched... But inside these story walls there is an evil moustache tweaking De Soto and a devilishly grinning Diego and really, that's all you really need.


**The Body Lies**

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone for such nice reviews for The Body Speaks. Some of you asked for another chapter, but I couldn't add anything to a story that wrote itself (after I read a line in a body language book commenting on voice depth). In my short time dabbling at writing I have realized that things that write themselves are always better than what I attempt to do. So instead of another chapter here's a sequel. It unfortunately is a bit forced in places and a _LOT _cliched (consider yourself warned), but cliches are cliches for a reason.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Victoria had to bite at the sides of her mouth to keep the smile at bay as Diego bent down to claim the kiss that would entangle them into each others lives permanently. She couldn't look too eager so she angled her body off to the side and made a not too subtle glance to the back of the church as Diego kissed her gently on the cheek. He touched her with his lips for only a second, as if he was afraid she would bolt, and as if he was afraid her presence there at the front of the church with him was too good to be true.

"Why did she marry de la Vega anyway?" was the unspoken question which haunted the church's patrons. Of course no one dared whisper the answers their minds supplied to that question in the presence of Don Alejandro and his family. But that did not stop them from speculating.

_No doubt Zorro had gotten her in the family way_.

_The tavern could not turn a profit with all the new taxes and that made de la Vega an awfully handsome option._

_Zorro must be horribly scarred and ugly under that mask. _

_She wanted children and a family. _

_Spinsters were fickle like that._

_She wanted a man she could hen peck._

The rumours were endless. Unfortunately what really happened that night when Diego returned to an enlightened Victoria would forever be a secret kept between themselves. Even if they tried to explain it they could never fully describe precisely how that night's circled sequence of cursing to slapping to touching had led them to this moment.

Not being privy to certain information, no one had been more flabbergasted that Diego and Victoria were engaged than Alejandro. Despite his persistent enquiries all he ever got out of them was that they both wanted certain things in their lives that they couldn't get if life were to go on as it had been. Alejandro had been horrified when Diego bluntly replied one day that they both wanted children and they were good friends, so it made sense. As if children were merely a business transaction one conducted with one's spouse. And if the court-less engagement wasn't bad enough, the couple didn't even try to fake that there was any love between them. Sure they were having a public wedding, but there was to be no reception, no dancing, no eating. Just a quiet church wedding which would leave everyone to go home and ponder what exactly they had witnessed. And the poor bride and groom would be left to deal with the sad sort of affairs they were creating.

The church bells pealed as Diego stiffly took Victoria's arm and led her out of the church. Alejandro groaned to himself that he had never seen two newlyweds look so awkward together. But while Alejandro was bemoaning his son and daughter-in-laws fates Mendoza was smiling happily at the couple. For some reason he knew they would be happy together. For Don Diego had loved Senorita Escalante for a long time, and with his money and her cooking skills the dinner parties they could host!

The newly-weds were almost home free and out the church when two shots rang out, shocking them out of their tempered bliss. Diego shared a concerned look his wife while his father's voice could be heard angrily demanding an explanation as to who would dare fire shots on his son's wedding day, and so close to the church. Everyone else in the church merely stood starring at each other and listening for a clue as to what had happened. But that was it. Two shots. And then...

"Viva la Mexico!" came a voice, which was two seconds later joined by its owner who came rushing into the church.

"Ramone!" yelled Victoria in shock. She had not expected either of her brother's to be able to make her wedding when she had wrote them on such short notice. She certainly had not expected to see Ramone standing before her in his strange military get up.

"Little sister, I have brought you the best wedding present I could think of; freedom and the opportunity to raise your children in a pueblo that isn't oppressed by ridiculous demands from the mother country," declared Ramone as he pulled his sister into a fierce hug. A few moments later he reluctantly let her go to shake his new brother-in-law's hand in what was a perfectly vertical meeting of the hands.

"What is the meaning of this?" asked Alejandro as everyone looked in awe at the spectacle going on before them. A good majority had come for the entertainment value of watching Zorro interupt the wedding and were glad the wedding hadn't ended without some excitement.

_Damn, it's just her brother, and not her unmasked lover hugging the bride and interrupting the wedding._

"It means that your former alcalde's lancers have either sworn to the loyalty of Mexico or been placed in the courtel. It means that Spain no longer rules this country, but the people of Mexico of which you are all now citizens," declared Ramone to a few half-hearted cheers. "Of course if you wish not to be in Mexico, I respectably suggest you find the next boat to Spain."

"Does this mean Zorro is no longer a wanted man?" queried Victoria hope shining in her eyes at the prospect of a world where she could raise her children without fearing they too would have to witness the execution of their parents. That truly was the best wedding present she could imagine.

_Just when she goes and marries the de la Vega boy. _

_It wasn't consummated, she can still get it annulled. _

_Doesn't she remember she's married now? _

_She's got Diego now, let another woman have Zorro._

"He's not a criminal against Mexico. He'd be exonerated under the new government," explained Ramone. This time the crowd enthusiastically cheered at his words. If the government of Mexico was a friend of Zorro's then it couldn't be that unreasonable.

As the cheers died out a loud and bitter laugh cut through the celebratory attitude. It only took the wedding guests a moment to locate the source. The ungodly sound was coming from De Soto who had been sitting in the back of the church waiting for any sign of Zorro. He sat there still, laughing his bitter and vindictive laugh with his hands crossed menacingly across his chest.

"Alcalde I don't see what you have to laugh about. You have just lost all your jurisdiction here," pointed out Alejandro.

"I wished differently, but deep down I knew that going to this backwater pueblo would do nothing for my career. Therefore I have no desire to waste a single moment fighting with this man for a lousy pueblo that Spain saw fit to sell so quickly. Yes folks, you've been sold of all things. I received a letter a few weeks ago warning me this was likely to happen. Of course I was upset at first. But then imagine my pleasure when I realized the lovely senorita was giving up on her masked love when he was just about to gain his freedom to love her."

With that said De Soto stood up, gave one final tweak of his moustache and walked out of the church, never to be seen in Los Angeles again.

Meanwhile inside the church everyone's eyes were on Victoria waiting for her to break down. There were already the faintest glimmer of tears reaching the corner of her eyes, and her face was contorted in the strangest manner.

"You can get an annulment still," offered Alejandro, and the padre nodded in agreement as everyone watched for Victoria's response.

_Yes, please marry Zorro and prove De Soto wrong._

Finally the contorted look on the new Donna's face straightened out and a mirthful laugh spilled from her mouth to everyone's shock.

_The poor thing's come unhinged._

"Well, Ramone it's been too long," Diego said not hiding the huge grin on his face as his poor bride tried to collect herself. "Victoria and I would love to host you at the hacienda tomorrow night for supper, but please excuse our lack of hospitality tonight. However I do believe there's a free room at the tavern if you need a place to stay."

The grinning young couple smiled at each other for a second before Diego uncharacteristically picked up his bride and bolted for the door. He only looked back for a moment to speak to his best man, a devilish grin spreading over his face.

"Felipe, I may be too preoccupied to feed the black stallion tonight, so make sure he gets some fresh air for once."

Diego and his bride were well on their way home on Esperanza before anyone in the chapel realized they had just witnessed one of the greatest coupes in history.

The End


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